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Man tries to rob wrong store clerk, ends up with a gun in his mouth

Marionville, MO: This would-be robber picked the wrong clerk. How wrong? A 30-year military veteran with four tours of Iraq. A former prison guard, private investigator, professional extraditor of federal prisoners and — perhaps most important on this particular Sunday night — owner of a Walther PPX 9 mm handgun.

Jon Lewis Alexander, 54, of Marionville, thwarted a robbery about 9 p.m. Sunday at Beer 30 on East Logan Street in Marionville — after the would-be robber pulled his weapon first. As a store security video shows, Alexander used his left hand to push the robber’s handgun back while pulling and swinging his 9 mm into the robber’s face. The man’s mouth, to be exact, as the robber haplessly holds his own weapon at his side.

When asked for comment, Alexander said he didn’t fire because the man never got his weapon pointed at him. “If I had seen the actual barrel of the gun, I would have pulled the trigger. My life wasn’t threatened.”

Police swabbed the end of Alexander’s gun for DNA since it was in the robber’s mouth. When asked for his thoughts on people who attempt robberies: “I think they all ought to be put away — permanently.”



Man uses samurai sword as weapon

Greene County, FL: Police say a Springfield man found his friend and girlfriend having sex at his apartment, then attacked the friend with a samurai sword. Adam I. Howland, 36, told police he got home Tuesday night and heard something in his bedroom, where he found his friend and girlfriend.

“Howland said he started assaulting (the man) by punching him several times,” a probable cause statement says. “Howland described himself as fighting like an ‘MMA’ fighter,” referring to mixed martial arts.

Police had spoken to the alleged victim at Mercy Hospital before visiting Howland. The man had “several serious lacerations on his body” and told police Howland had attacked him with “some type of machete.”

When police asked Howland about the cuts, he said he had used the sword to strike the man. “Howland said the sword was ‘bent’ from hitting (the man) and he was shocked that it cut (him) so deeply,” the statement says. “Howland said he could see (the man’s) muscle from cutting him.”

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Man arrested after stealing police car for joyride

North Miami Beach, FL: A man has been arrested and charged with third degree grand theft after he allegedly jumped into a North Miami Beach Police cruiser and took it for a joyride, Sunday afternoon.

Police said the marked police vehicle was parked on the south side of the North Miami Beach Police Station when the man entered the vehicle, which may have been unlocked, and located the car keys inside. The man then drove off with the police cruiser.

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Police find crack pipe in Florida man’s stomach

Fort Pierce, FL: A man with an apparent crack pipe in his stomach may have more to worry about than a case of indigestion. Law enforcement officials Aug. 16 discovered the crack pipe in Oliver Johnson’s stomach after Johnson was taken to the St. Lucie County jail, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

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